That's life....

Well life is just peachy isn't it? One second you're happy, then you're not, then you're happy again and you turn back to the unhappiness again. My life has been an emotional rollercoaster these last few weeks. I was really happy in my relationship and then all of a sudden it went sour and I couldn't get my feelings back. It was one of the strangest things that has happened to me. Usually when I like I guy I like them for a long time and can't get over them. Just look at my relationships with Tyler and Jason. I still like those guys too much for my own good. I just can't comprehend everything that seems to be happening with me. It's just not me. So I got out of my relationship with Esben at the beginning of this week and I was so happy. My mood had lighten and I was laughing and smiling more. Then Wednesday came around and destroyed that feeling. It just left again. I hate it when I just seem to switch to a different person and don't know why. I just don't know anything anymore. I'm all mixed up and backwards. So many songs are running through my head depicting my life right now. They're all blending together. Making my life a bigger mess to sort out than it has to be. And now in a week I'll be heading to TUXIS and that'll be great. I'll be able to sort some of this web of tangles out but then I'll come back from my retreat and just fall back into the routine and get even more tangled. Ah well, life is hell and there's really nothing that's going to fix that unless you do it yourself. Nobody can come and save me from my life. I need to learn that and remember. I just can't sit around and wait for a knight in shining armour to come and whisk me away to a place far away from here. Nothing like that is going to happen unless I get myself strighten out. I'm just rambling on again but I seem to need to do that to sort myself out. I'm hoping I'll come back to my original self in a while. We'll see. I'll live and get through this. With the love of all of my friends, I think I'll get through it. God Bless.