Ramblings of a heartbroken girl
So my angels say I need to find serenity and to find that I need to get in touch with my inner child. To do that, they then say serenity is the way to do that. How confusing is that? The next card I pulled then was Emerging. I will be emerging in a new school I guess. I’m not suppose to hide who I am, which will be tricky cause I always have but we’ll see how that goes. I just had such a hard time these last couple of months. I was thinking last night of May 24th. That was the night that Jade, Erin, Esben and I went and had dessert. We then made a wish list for the coming year. I really can’t remember all of them for me but I do remember one. ‘To stay close to loved ones and not lose any.’ Well that didn’t even last a month. How crummy is that. I lost someone that I held and still hold dear. I really do hope he is having a good time and is faring well. I almost wish he would email me but I’m not sure how I would handle it, if one day I opened my inbox and there was a message from him. I think that in December I will send an email asking how he’s doing and wish him a Merry Christmas. I will also send a Happy Birthday one in January as well. But that will be it unless I get an answer from him. It’s so tough but I will get through this. I have to get through this. I need to put the past behind me and get on with my life. I can’t just stay and try to be stuck in a moment. I need to go live, maybe find a new guy that will be better to me than he was, one with a little more romance. It will be a wonderful day when I do. I might be only eighteen, but I don’t want to try out all these guys. I guess I’m just someone who wants to settle down even though I’m young. I’m more of a family person and that’s how it should be. I can’t keep going through life with one heartbreak after another. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and it’s true, but I don’t want it to be. I need this to end. Hopefully university will do that. I’ll be able to find someone who will sweep me off my feet. One who’s romantic, handsome, and speaks French. That’s almost a must, but if he doesn’t that’s ok. But every guy on my campus will have to speak French. It is a French campus after all. Well I’ll be going now to go try and live my wonderful life. I’ll write later. God Bless.
posted by Meaghan | 9:12 p.m.
1 Comments:
what is with these stupid people leaving messages everwhere on blogs they have no right leave messages on, shoo people, shoo.
anyways, I still have that napkin, filed away with all my other files, under "D" for "dreams" and trust me I shall be pulling it out. and still when I think back to that night I think of the 3 of us, us girls, I remeber esben being there but for some odd reason I don't place much value on his presense there that night.
Listen if you really want to know how he's doing just ask me anytime you want cause he e-mails me frequently, just if you ever really need to know, trust me I get the feeling, even though I think I honestly know what nathan's up to I still get a little panicy when I think that he might get in an accident or something and no one will take the time to call me (which is a lie since he promised if anything big happened I'd be told).
This whole school thing is going to be crazy, so just give it all you got and try no to regret anything.
Love Erin
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