Why?

My grandmother had surgery to remove a tumour from her brain on the 9th of August. They did tests and it is cancer. I wasn't told the name of the cancer, but it's one that really isn't treatable. The doctors will do five rounds of radiation therapy, but it won't do much. The time she has left is about six months. I really don't like the month of August everything bad happens in it. And in 6 months I'll be almost 20, so it will still have the effect of every three years someone else close to me passes away. At least it gives me some time to semi get over one thing and face another. But I mean, losing both my grandmothers in the space of 2 and a half years is not something I want. But it's not in my hands, it's in God's. He knows what is best and will guide me through this. I have a stronger faith than I used to and I'm hoping that will help me cope with these next few months. Who would have thought that it would be my grandmothers' gone when it's my grandfathers' that have had the near death health problems. I don't want to say that it's not fair, but I can't help but feel a bit like that. At least both Grandma and Nan have the faith they needed/need to get through this. Nan knows there is a better place she will be going to. I just wish she could be around to see me get married, or even just engaged. Not all our prayers are answered. It's just not the time for that to happen. I'm going to get back to work now since it is my last day here. God Bless.

Flying?

I'm absolutely, wonderfully happy with my relationship but I'm listening to music that could dictate otherwise. I have no clue why. Maybe it makes me think of how life would be without Jason, and I can't bear to think of that. It would destroy me. Anyways... So I told my boss today that I will no longer be working for Pegasus Paper after August 18th. I will hopefully be working at Birch Bay Ranch the week of the 20th to 25th and then taking some time off while I apply to work at WestJet. I hopefully will be able to do that. I filled out a request for a birth certificate today and started on my passport application. It will be so good to get a different job. It might be difficult if I have to move to Calgary. It'll definately be different. I'll of course miss Jason and all my friends up here. It'll be funny cause Dan will move back to Edmonton as I move down to Calgary. At least Steffi lives in Calgary. It'll be nice to see her again. It'll also give me the change of location I've been wanting for a while. I guess I'm just a roamer and can't stay in one place for too, too long. I don't know how people can live in one place for their entire lives. It might be that I just like to travel and by being a flight attendant will be awesome. Oh, and Cyndi Lauper is amazing. She was awesome on Canadian Idol last night and tonight. She's brilliant. I'm going to jet and you all have a good night. God Bless.