My life has been taken away

So thursday was my last day of high school classes forever. It was also the end of my 6 and a half month relationship with Esben. It was probably the worst planned thing ever in the history of man. It's right before exams and he knew very well how stressed out I am and the fact that my parents are not at home. So all in all I have to deal with this myself. I've sofar cried myslef to sleep two nights in a row. Who knew that this would hurt so much? I don't even have enough courage to flip my claddagh around again. I'm just in shock I guess. I never though that this would happen so soon. As Christina pointed out, he did commit a bang and run. I feel so used. All my relationships seem to be that. They end right after I trust the person with everything. I gave him basically all my life. He's taken a part of me with him and I don't think I'll be able to regain that for a very long time. He's leaving for Denmark in 5 days now, so it's almost like what he's doing is cowardly. He couldn't even give us the chance to try a long distance relationship. I guess it just wouldn't work for people who are "just friends". He said that's all we'll ever be. I guess all those times he said he loved me were lies. Everything just contradictes itself now. All the pictures I have of us are just so nice and we look so happy. I guess we were until lately and I didn't even know. Where did my sixth sense go? My empathy is leaving me and I can't seem to know what people are feeling anymore. I'm going down hill and I need to stop and turn around. Come back up the hill, except I can't do that by myself and right now I have no one here for me. Everyonr is out and I can't get a hold of anyone. I may sound like a 6 year old, but I want my mum. I haven't had someone to just lay in their arms and cry my heart out. I haven't had a chance and everything is just so pent up inside and I feel like I'm going to burst. My heart has been ripped out, steamrolled and chopped to pieces. I the words of A Knight's Tale, "The pieces of my broken heart are so small, they could pass through the eye of a needle." I guess I'll leave off here and just try to pass the time until my mum comes home or I hear from someone who I can talk to. So long and Farewell. God Bless.

Tired

Yeah, so I have at max ten minutes left of english class but I'll just waste it. Who cares about the Grapes of Wrath and good marks anyways. I'm just so stressed out. I've been told right now that I look like I want to kill somebody. I might just snap and the temper may not be so pretty. I'm so jealous of Esben. He just takes things as they come and doesn't stress about them. I think I carry enough stress for the both of us. Ah well, I have one more week left of high school then exams and then I am done. No more ugly high schoolness. That's until I come back to hell to teach after university. Anyways, I'm gonna go so I can get some lunch. Maybe I can also just go relax before my big chem lab. ttfn peoples, God Bless.

Difference

So in twenty-four days Esben leaves for Denmark and he will be there for a year. It's so tough to think that he will be gone that long. I've finally found something good in my life and someone who loves me for being me and then he leaves. It really is a sucky thing but I'm happy that he's excited about going. It'll be good for him to go. He'll see his culture and his people. He'll also hear his language and become fluent like he wishes to. I'm also excited because if the two of us are still talking by the time reading week in February comes around my mum will pay for half of a plane ticket so I can go to Denmark to see him. Anyways, Grad is tomorrow and Friday. So tonight I have rehearsal for the ceremonies and then Thursday are the actual ceremonies. Friday is the big day. I have to make the toast to the parents at the banquet but I have that written already so I'm not so stressed anymore. So for my wardrobe, my dress is black and has a fucshia inlay in the back. I have a sparkly crown and bracelet. I also have really nice earrings and necklace. It's going to be so great. I can't wait to see Esben in his suit. He'll look so good, but he keeps telling me that he is not going to wear his buteniere(?) but I'll make him. It's really nice; three white spray roses. It will fit him perfectly. It's just right for him. Anywho, I should get back to my english project. Yay, Grapes of Wrath. Yeah right. ttfn God Bless.